What allies do the Jedi Chefs
have? (page 2)
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Neo
When problems in the Matrix are getting too hot to handle, Neo and his
gang can now bring in a small unit of Jedi Chef techno-gurus, who can program
bigger and badder weapons and, generally, knock people down.
í
During a recent mission within The Matrix, Neo found himself in combat
with a particularly hostile and sweaty Agent. The fight continued for some
time.
Sensing that he may have met his match, the foolish Agent attempted
to leave The Matrix!
Neo caught up with the agent before he could get away, and the fight
resumed.
Now fighting for his very existence, the Agent put his all into the
combat. Neo may have been overpowered. Just as Neo was tiring, Jedi Master
Chef Rob arrived on the scene and took on the Agent. Whilst Neo recovered,
JMC001 and the vile-smelling Agent fought a bitter battle. Though it took
a while, the inevitable finally occurred; the Jedi Master Chef prevailed,
destroying the beaten Agent with customary flourish.
Once the battle was won, Neo was taken to the nearest Jedi Chefs medical
facility, where he made a full and swift recovery. He was soon back on
his mission.
Wolverine
Though normally a loner, this able fighter can sometimes see the
value of additional manpower. The Jedi Chef council has authorized selected
Chefs to respond whenever any of the X-Men requests assistance.
Zorro
Another freedom-fighter who prefers to work alone, Zorro realizes that
our lightsabers are immeasurably superior to his antiquated metal blade,
nomatter how much skill is involved in the wielding of it. We are, of course,
happy to help out, bringing our splendid energy weapons with us to chop
up the bad guys.
Blake's 7
Being fellow space-travellers, who also fight against oppression and bad
guys who can't shoot straight, this mixed bunch seemed a reasonable group
for the Jedi Chefs to join forces with. They sent there man Avon to negotiate
details and sign the contract.
Captain Hook
Although a seemingly unlikely friend of the Noble Order of the Jedi Chefs,
we will never turn down anyone who wishes to devote their existence to
the Good Fight.
Monkey
Skilled in the handling of his pole, this fighter has now pledged the support
of himself and his colleagues to the Jedi Chef council.
Pilots
Though skilled in the use of the Sauce, Jedi Chefs cannot actually fly,
through either air or space. To get us to our important destinations quickly
and reliably, we have our own army of pilots, able to expertly control
anything from an X-Wing fighter to a Star Destroyer. We don't pay them
much, but we do occasionally let them play with the office photocopier,
so they remain utterly loyal and dedicated.
Of course, where there are pilots, there are also copilots, and we use
only the very best.
Clone army
We have recently started to experiment with the cloning of our most skilled
Master Chefs. Unfortunately, early attempts have not been entirely successful,
resulting in grotesquely deformed specimens such as the entity seen here
next to the original JMC002 Neil. For obvious reasons, we did not waste
a regulation hat on this sorry mutant.
Amongst other failed cloning experiments was our attempt to duplicate
Horatio Caine without the arrogant smugness. All we got for our trouble
was the following bunch of gormless muppets.
Hopefully, future cloning attempts will produce more viable units.
Illyria
After her time with Angel and his gang, this strange individual wandered
in search of violence. When she witnessed the carnage of one of our horrific
food fights, she knew that she had found her new home. Whenever there is
a lot of fighting to be done, and none of us can be bothered, we send her
in.
The Centauri
Despite some recent transgressions - and silly hair (or lack of it) - it
is always a good idea to try to get along with any space-faring race that
can provide ships. The Centauri do indeed possess some large warships,
and often large bellies.
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