Another common problem on some planets is Tusken Raiders (Sand People). They're lazy, they have no sense of style, they stink, and they have a bad habit of sneaking into parties and trying to slaughter the merrymakers therein. We show them no mercy.
Feared across the galaxy for their hatred of all races other than their own, The Doctor's best known enemies, the Daleks, are automatically classed as enemies of the Jedi Chefs.
Of course, not all confrontations must end in violence; even the evil of the Daleks can be turned to the light side by the irresistible influence of the Jedi Chef Order.
It has come to the attention of the Jedi Chef council that the evil law firm, Wolfram and Hart of Earth, have been covertly training their staff in Jedi combat techniques, no doubt in preparation for some form of attack on our honourable peacekeeping forces. The following images were captured by a Jedi operative, Special Agent JCA098 Ming, and transmitted to one of our patrol craft on a secure channel.
Furthermore, the two duelling villains - identified as Lilah Morgan and Lindsey McDonald - were captured briefly on film by our man Ming. Working under the cover of darkness and with limited portable equipment, the quality of the video is not fabulous, but we will be able to analyse the combat strategies used so that we will be prepared to counter them, should the need arise.
If you wish to study a short excerpt from the film, you can download it by clicking here. Be advised that the file is almost 1 Megabyte in size.
Well done JCA098 Ming! Your upgrade to Master Chef must surely be only a short time away.
(it is worth noting that two of the current Apprentices, JCA095 Stephanie
and JCA096 Christian, bear a remarkable similarity to the two evil lawyers
depicted above. Jedi Chef intelligence staff are investigating this apparent
coincidence)
This irritating thing simply had to die. No further words will be wasted on it.
We can't stand nasty Nazis, and Herr Flick is a particularly vile example. Our first encounter with him seemed destinied to end in violence which would, of course, lead to a sticky end for the mischievious German.
However, thanks to some quick talking and a large piece of Cheesecake, combat was avoided. After the error of his ways was explained to Mr. Flick, he agreed to enter into our Rehabilitation Programme. When he later emerged, he asked to join The Order. He was welcomed as a Jedi Chef Apprentice....
....and, after extensive education and training, became a Jedi Master Chef!
We don't find ourselves bothered by the Goa'uld very often, as we spend most of our time in galaxies other than this one. We have come across them a couple of times, and each time they have behaved in a most uncivilized manner. One particularly unpleasant encounter was with the one known as Osiris. First, she attacked a JCN Advanced Cruiser with three "Ha'tak" motherships. When that assault failed miserably, she managed to "beam" aboard our vessel with several Jaffa warriors. Believing that her Goa'uld devices were a match for The Sauce, she attempted to fight her way to the bridge. She didn't get far, of course, and her foolishness cost the lives of all of her Jaffa boarders. She herself managed to escape before we had managed to adjust our shields against her beaming technology. She is now on our "most wanted" list, with a price on her head of 15,000 Credits. She will not evade us for long!
Although far more powerful than "regular" Goa'uld System Lords, due to being partially ascended, Anubis has repeatedly made the mistake of underestimating Jedi Chef capabilities. He fails to comprehend that being partially ethereal is no defense against modulated frequency multi-phasic quantum level energy weapons (such as lightsabers). I mean, if he doesn't even know that, how does he even manage to fasten his shoe laces in the mornings?
When a small group of musketeers allied themselves with the Jedi Chefs, Cardinal Richlieu somehow found out about it and dispatched his henchman, Rochefort, to track them down and "deal with them". By now, the musketeers were already on an important mission for the Senate. To avoid them being hampered by the Cardinal's right-hand man, a JMC was sent to intercept him. Before long, the two met and a brief fight took place, after which Rochefort ran away.
Later, the two crossed paths again, and the noble Jedi Chef had to defend (mostly) innocent wench from Rochefort's vileness.
The third time the pair met, the conflict switched from blades to pistols. By a fluke of unreliable machinery, booth weapons malfunctioned and Rochefort was able to escape again in the resulting cloud of smoke
Rochefort has now teamed up again with the Cardinal. Together, they are even more dangerous!
The whereaouts of The Cardinal and Rochefort are not known at this time
but it's certain the pursuing JMC will soon find them again. Then there
will be trouble!
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